Beacon Hills High, Saturday Evening FT
May. 25th, 2013 10:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nomoresportscarsJackson wasn't sure if he'd actually made the decision to leave Fandom for Beacon Hills yesterday. He just knew he was there now. And he wished he could have said he'd been surprised to wake up at home in his bed this morning, with no recollection of getting there, but there were only so many times you could get control snatched from you before it started feeling like the most disturbing routine thing ever. And the truth was, it had been worse for the past week or so. Even while he was in Fandom, it had been like... like he'd beed able to feel it. More than usual. Like he was enver really alone, like there was someone right behind him, right outside his field of vision. In Beacon Hills, it was worse. Like a hand on his shoulder. Like he was slowly slipping away from himself.
It wasn't really his decision whether he played the championship game tonight or not, was it? He knew he was dangerous. He knew he probably shouldn't have been here. He didn't really even want to be here.
In fact, he hadn't come here on his own. To him, it was as if Danny called his name and here he was. He blinked. He was in the locker room. He had his lacrosse gear on. Number 37 getting ready to play like nothing was wrong, except Danny was next to him, staring at him, worried. Jackson didn't even want to know how confused he himself looked. He exhaled a shuddering breath, then looked at his best friend.
"Stay in the goal tonight, Danny," he said. "Do not come out. And if you see me coming towards you, run the other way. As fast as you can."
That was all he could do. He was slipping away from himself. Like he was drifting off to sleep. Or sleepwalking. Something. When he walked out of the locker room, he wasn't sure if it was him or someone else that was telling his feet to move.
Ever tried playing a lacrosse game while feeling like you were drifting in out of consciousness? It was trippy. It was awful, and there was not a damn thing he could do about it, either. He was a puppet on some strings. The further it went on, the less he was there. He just knew that whenever he wasn't there, he was hurting people. It was almost a relief not to be there. And then the buzzer went to signal the end of the game, and he was just standing in the field. Well, he was only kind of aware he was there. As if in a dream, trying to wake up. He could feel the skin on his arm rippling into scales. Claws protruding where there'd been nails just a second ago. Something was about to happen.
And Jackson made a decision. And he put all of his willpower behind it. He could do something. No one else was stopping him. He had to do something. So he did. It took a lot of effort just to move his hand but he did it. And maybe that meant that whoever was in charge was letting him do it. He hadn't been able to tell his will from someone else's for quite some time now. But this felt like him.
He scratched the kanima's claws across his stomach, and then jammed them in as deep as he could.
Everything went black.
[ooc: NFB, NFI, OOC-okay! Taken from Teen Wolf S02E11 'Battlefield'. Another post coming up a little later tonight, and then Jackson is gonna be dooooone with canon! Finally. Warning for... Idek. Let's call it self-harm.]
It wasn't really his decision whether he played the championship game tonight or not, was it? He knew he was dangerous. He knew he probably shouldn't have been here. He didn't really even want to be here.
In fact, he hadn't come here on his own. To him, it was as if Danny called his name and here he was. He blinked. He was in the locker room. He had his lacrosse gear on. Number 37 getting ready to play like nothing was wrong, except Danny was next to him, staring at him, worried. Jackson didn't even want to know how confused he himself looked. He exhaled a shuddering breath, then looked at his best friend.
"Stay in the goal tonight, Danny," he said. "Do not come out. And if you see me coming towards you, run the other way. As fast as you can."
That was all he could do. He was slipping away from himself. Like he was drifting off to sleep. Or sleepwalking. Something. When he walked out of the locker room, he wasn't sure if it was him or someone else that was telling his feet to move.
Ever tried playing a lacrosse game while feeling like you were drifting in out of consciousness? It was trippy. It was awful, and there was not a damn thing he could do about it, either. He was a puppet on some strings. The further it went on, the less he was there. He just knew that whenever he wasn't there, he was hurting people. It was almost a relief not to be there. And then the buzzer went to signal the end of the game, and he was just standing in the field. Well, he was only kind of aware he was there. As if in a dream, trying to wake up. He could feel the skin on his arm rippling into scales. Claws protruding where there'd been nails just a second ago. Something was about to happen.
And Jackson made a decision. And he put all of his willpower behind it. He could do something. No one else was stopping him. He had to do something. So he did. It took a lot of effort just to move his hand but he did it. And maybe that meant that whoever was in charge was letting him do it. He hadn't been able to tell his will from someone else's for quite some time now. But this felt like him.
He scratched the kanima's claws across his stomach, and then jammed them in as deep as he could.
Everything went black.
[ooc: NFB, NFI, OOC-okay! Taken from Teen Wolf S02E11 'Battlefield'. Another post coming up a little later tonight, and then Jackson is gonna be dooooone with canon! Finally. Warning for... Idek. Let's call it self-harm.]
